The Marriage

Rahul had always been a very bright student. He did both his Engineering and MBA from one of the premier institutions in India. He was offered a job as a manager by an USA based multinational, based on Silicon Valley with a huge pay packet.  Hailing from a rural village in Bihar, no one of his family travelled outside Bihar, let alone abroad. He was very happy. Though his parents were a little sad to let him go – he being the only son and the youngest of the three siblings – they were eventually happier for him.

Rahul moved to USA. Everything had been going on smoothly until the day he met Pooja. Pooja had come to the States from India, from one of the offshore suppliers that his company had a strategic tie-up with. She was too beautiful to go unnoticed and Rahul, and some more guys, fell head over heels for her. Fortunately for him, he had to interact with her on a daily basis to take project updates. Initially Pooja was a little introvert but slowly she opened up and one day Rahul came to know that the feeling was reciprocal from both sides.

The next six months or so did fly like a twinkling of an eye as the two lovebirds started spending most of their times together. Rahul slowly started getting to know Pooja and her family background. She was from a very wealthy family from Mumbai. Contrary to his father being a farmer, her father is one of the top-notch businessmen in India. Her family status was diametrically opposite to his. And because of the social surroundings around which they were brought up, Rahul used to be a little conservative whereas Pooja was very liberal and strong-willed. Being the youngest child, he grew up under the overprotective shade of his parents, whereas she enjoyed a lot of freedom as the only child of a rich dad. But as the opposites attract each other, both of them got closer with every passing day.

A few months later when almost every other person at the office knew that they could not stay away from each other, it was time for the big decision. They decided to let their respective families know about their ongoing courtship and the proposition to get married. They were a bit anxious about breaking the news as they were not really sure how their parents would react to the same. Before planning the vacation to India, they agreed on pulling the cat out of the bag to their parents over phone.

Pooja’s parents were a little apprehensive about the social status of their to-be groom’s parents but eventually had to bend down to her stubbornness. On the other hand, Rahul’s parents were scared about their future daughter-in-law because she might not be able to qualify for an ideal housewife. But, finally they also had to succumb to their son’s wish, just like how they were pampering him since the childhood by giving everything he wanted.

So it was all settled. Next Christmas the bride and the groom would be in India and would get married and would leave for USA. All the preparations were done and dusted.

On the wedding day, Rahul’s parents requested him to talk to Pooja’s dad for dowry. It was a bolt from the blue for Rahul.

‘Father, what is this? I cannot do this. I can’t believe you would ask for a dowry!’

‘Why not, son? If we don’t take a dowry, it diminishes your value as a groom – you are so educated and well established in abroad. Moreover, it is a tradition in our village. Without receiving a dowry for a qualified son like you, I cannot show my face to the relatives. And Pooja’s dad surely wouldn’t mind, as he anyway has a lot of money’

‘No, I cannot do this’

‘Son, think about us. You had two elder sisters; a lot of money had been drained out on their marriages and paying for their dowries. Even my land is mortgaged. I really need this money’

‘Father I will give you all the money you need, but I cannot do this’

‘Son, then you have to choose between us and your wife. If you don’t speak to your father-in-law and arrange for the money, we will call off the wedding.’

Rahul was in a real fix. He couldn’t imagine a world without his parents. He had seen their struggle to bring him up. He could not certainly leave them. On the other hand, he could not live without Pooja. What should he do? He planned to have a word with Pooja but knowing her liberal and modern thinking, he knew that she would create a scene and make a mess of everything. He decided to talk to his father-in-law in private. The old man was in a shock when the groom explained what has happened. He enquired whether Pooja was aware of it.

The money Rahul’s parents were asking for was nothing for his father-in-law and he was ready to shell out even more in his only daughter’s marriage, but he could never imagine that he had to officially pay for dowry! Since Pooja was not even aware of the situation, he agreed to pay and just wrote down a check. Everything got sorted out and everybody was happy. A gentleman’s agreement took place between Rahul and his father-in-law that Pooja would be kept in dark about this little off-track incident.

The bride and groom, after a short honeymoon to the Maldives, mostly sponsored by Pooja’s father, went back to California, where they settled for happily ever after.

A couple of years passed by without any major incident and Pooja’s company would now require her to work from India, so she had to come back. Rahul decided to stay for a few more months as he was searching for a job in India. She required to work from Mumbai, so she decided to stay at her father’s.

When they broke the news of her return to her in-laws, they were not happy. Why should their daughter-in-law not stay with them? Moreover, in their family the ‘bahus’ are supposed to be housewives and should not be working. Who would take care of his parents if not her? She tried to make them understand but all her efforts were futile. Surprisingly, Surprisingly Rahul also supported his parents’ unfair demands.

‘Why do you need to work? Quit your job and stay with my parents. That’s your home now’

‘Rahul, give me a solid reason for quitting my job. It was because of this job we two are together. Moreover, I am a qualified woman and I want to work’

‘Pooja, we have had this argument several times before. We have enough money. Why do you need to continue working?’

‘It is not about money, you would not understand. I will not quit. And please don’t sound like your parents with a mentality with 16^th century.’

‘Pooja, enough! Whatever they are, they are my parents.’

‘Don’t shout at me. A fact is a fact – they have typical conservative mentalities and you keep on supporting them. Sometimes I wonder whether you are educated in a real sense.I will not quit and this is my final decision.’

The argument went on and on, and for several times. Pooja, as strong-willed as she was, despite the resistance from in-laws, came back to Mumbai and started working. Rahul, on the other hand, conveyed this message to his parents who were visibly upset. They suggested that their lives were ruined as they did not want such a daughter-in-law who would not stay with them and help them in their daily chores. The delirious mother went further on and finally even indicated that his son should seriously think of leaving her and get married once again.

‘This time the girl will be of our choice and we would get a fatter dowry this time’!

‘Mother, please. I am already under a lot of pressure.’

‘See the girl had taken you completely under her spell. You don’t even think of our plights.’

‘It won’t happen. Please close this topic.’

Rahul eventually got a job in Mumbai and came back. They bought an apartment and shifted there. Her in-laws, on Rahul’s repeated pleading, came to stay with them. The decision was not a clever one. His conservative and extremely traditional parents did not at all like Pooja’s liberal and strong-willed attitude as well as the close proximity of her father’s house to them. A daughter-in-law must stay away from her paternal relations after marriage and she must be obedient to her in-laws. She must stay inside the house and not work. She has to be an ideal daughter-in-law after all! Everyday there was complaints to Rahul about his wife, from his parents. With such continuous provocation, he started developing a little apathy towards Pooja.

One evening, both Rahul and Pooja were about to leave for an invitation. His mother did not like her ‘bahu’s’ western dress, as it was too provocative!! Their argument turned into a heated debate, but no one seemed to be bogged down. Rahul, perplexed, could not decide which side to choose and remained silent. This irked Pooja even more. She started calling him a spineless coward for not supporting her in front of his mother, even if his mother was not right. Rahul’s male ego was badly hurt and he, on the heat of the moment, slapped her. She could not believe that he had hit her! She was infuriated.

‘Rahul, since my childhood my parents did not let me pick up even a minor scratch. I cannot tolerate a jerk like you hitting me for no reason whatsoever. I could have hit you too, but that is not how I am brought up or educated. I was about to tell you today that I am four month’s pregnant. But it does not matter now as I am leaving this house for good. You stay with your parents, and I will stay with mine. With their support I could take care of myself and my baby.’

Before he could react in some way, his father pitched in, rubbing salt to the wound.

‘See the way she is talking to you. Is this how a wife should talk to her husband? Never! That’s why I told you on the day of the marriage to take the money from her father. I knew she would not stay with you, at least we will have the money! We were right, we should have called off the marriage instead and got you married somewhere else.’

Pooja could not believe what she was hearing! Rahul, her Rahul, had agreed to take a dowry, and she did not have a clue! Why did he need money? Was she herself not enough?

She was devastated. She could not even move with the shock. Time seemed to stand still forever. A few moments passed in silence and slowly she recovered from the shock and pulled herself together. Surprisingly, she had been feeling too calm now.

Without uttering a single word, she left.

‘Let her go and she doesn’t need to come back. She does not belong here anyway. This is your house.’ These were the goodbye words of Rahul’s mother.

Pooja went on to stay at her father’s. In the next few months, the delivery date was fast approaching and her father arranged the delivery at the topmost hospital in Mumbai. Meanwhile Rahul tried to talk to her several times, apologized on several occasions and even pleaded to meet her once, but she blatantly refused. It was as if she had shut a door in her heart and no one was allowed to enter apart from her parents.

Pooja gave birth to a little baby girl on time. She was ecstatic. She was also a little sad not having Rahul around to share her bundle of joy. By now she had almost forgiven him for everything. Her father called up Rahul at the hospital, but he didn’t turn up.

Days turned into weeks but there was absolutely no news from Rahul. They even had left their Mumbai apartment. News came that they have left for their rural village in Bihar for some days for Rahul’s marriage! He had given in under ‘extreme persuasion’ from his parents. Apparently his parents completely disowned their daughter-in-law and granddaughter. How could they not? They were expecting a grandson, not a girl. A girl is a liability whereas a son is a prospect. And whose fault could it be? Of course, the ‘bahu’ is responsible! Because of her own sins she could not give birth to a boy!

Pooja was shaken to the core. Her rage crossed all limits. She was determined to see the end of it and teach them a lesson.

She filed a lawsuit for divorce which she won and they got separated.

She eventually reported this incident to Mumbai Police department and lodged an FIR against Rahul and his parents for charges like polygamy, mental and physical harassment and gender discrimination. Rahul and his parents were put behind the bars for a few months on various charges. Upon release, Rahul’s father died with a heart attack. Rahul quit his job and left for Bihar with his mother. Rumor has it that he got married once again, with a girl of his mother’s choice, and received a significant amount of dowry which helped him repay his father’s debt in full.

She continued to work and raise Neha, her daughter, as a single mother. She is content with her life around her littler angel.

Epilogue

All the characters mentioned in the narrative are completely fictitious and are solely the creation of my imagination. If there is any resemblance with anyone living or dead, it is purely coincidental.

The narrative is not written to hurt the feelings of anyone or any community. The social issues like gender based discrimination; dowry system and domestic violence (mental and physical harassment towards wife/daughter-in-law) are still prevalent in our society.

People like Rahul’s parents still exist, who are full of social prejudices and biases. They not only are at fault, but also they do drag the whole society backwards.

Rahul, despite being educated and well-settled, could not even stand up for the right cause and was easily influenced into the wrongdoings. People like him eventually are equally responsible to act as a direct catalyst to the increasing number of offenses towards women.

Pooja sought the help of the law which took its course, but not all women are so brave or have the opportunity. Given the social taboos and stereotypical mindsets, most of them succumb to the torture and eventually end up paying more money as dowry and some who could not bear the pain tragically end their lives.

Accepting or asking for a dowry is a crime. Accept the woman as who she really is, a human being, and no one has any right to insult her dignity by equaling her with any sort of materialistic possessions.

Domestic violence (mental and/or physical harassment) against wife/daughter-in-law is a punishable offense. For a woman, it takes time to adjust to a new home and get accustomed to new values, traditions and cultures. Accept her with all her mistakes, since no one is perfect, not even you and me.

Gender discrimination and inequality against women are moral stigmas, if not legal offenses. They humiliate one as human being and are direct violations of the human rights. Male chauvinism and ego are nothing but the demons of one’s own prejudiced mind and cluttered thinking.

We as responsible human beings have to seriously ponder over how to eradicate these perilous viruses from their roots. We have to annihilate these prejudices within us.

Let us take an oath today to put an end to these evils from spreading their dark, clawed wings further.