The Funeral

T H E   F U N E R A L

The inspiration for this short story came from one real-life news published on Times of India. The link can be found below. Apart from what could be found over the link, the rest is the result of my own imagination.

The Link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/ahmedabad/Ahmedabad-Daughter-lit-the-pyre-of-her-mother/articleshow/47077787.cms

The narrative is not written to hurt the feelings of anyone or any community.

|| 1 ||

Radhika was just 7 and Meera was only 4 when their father Vishal Bhai passed away.

What followed was an absolute mayhem; it was a struggle to survive, a struggle to be alive. There were no means of living. Vishal Bhai left behind nothing but a one room pigeonhole in Ahmedabad, apart from the two little toddlers and their mother Jashodaben. With virtually no savings left, the rent for the small jewelry shop owned by him could not be repaid, so the shop was gone – not as if it was making huge profits anyway.  The household items too started disappearing. The jewelries of Jashodaben, were sold to the nearby shops in exchange of meagre amount of money. Some domestic items were pawned to the bloodthirsty moneylenders with high rate of interest and they never came back to the owner.

Jashodaben, with her level of education (or the absence of it) could not manage to secure any job apart from being a daytime maid around the local neighborhood. Making both ends meet seemed to be a distant dream, but she worked too hard as a maid-cum-babysitter. She looked after her two precious jewels with an iron determination. The harsh reality of life could not erase the smiles from her face; instead the family bonding grew stronger and stronger.

With her dedication and warm manners, she won over many hearts and many spontaneous helps poured in. Saving each and every penny she could, she even managed to send her two girls to the local school and finally to a renowned college. And when both of them graduated with flying colors, she could not resist the tears from her eyes.

Radhika had already landed herself on a Government job while Meera had just joined a private farm. Their mother did not need to work now. The small family could even manage to shift to a rented two-bedroom flat nearby and they could indulge in a few luxuries like a TV and mobile phones for all. The apartment looked too full, more with contentment and peace than materialistic possessions.

The only thing that bothered Jashodaben was the thought of the marriages of her two girls. She was very anxious to get them married soon. But on the other hand she was worried about her solitude that would certainly follow, and she was not keeping well nowadays – the struggle and the hardship had started taking their toll on her health.

There were a few prospective marriage proposals for Radhika. But she was not ready to leave her mother and sister. Meera, as the strongest-willed of the three, got into the act of some serious persuasion and eventually her younger sister had to give in.

It was all settled. The marriage dates were finalized. Meera literally worked day in and day out and meticulously oversaw every arrangement to have everything in order.

On the wedding day, JashodaBen was so happy that everyone said she seemed to be dancing in joy, as the way she was moving. She really seemed exuberant; it was one of the very rare auspicious moments for the whole family in years.

All said and done, everything was smoothly accomplished. Radhika left her home and the two ladies, and it was that moment when her mother could not hold her tears back. Even Meera was wiping her eyes off.

|| 2 ||

A new phase of life began for the two. Since Radhika has left, certain emptiness engulfed the home, especially over Jashodaben’s mind. Meera realized that her mother couldn’t be left alone. She tried to keep her occupied into many household activities but to no avail. Radhika kept on visiting on every alternate weekends but Jashodaben gradually became gloomier with every passing day.

Meera knew why. With Radhika’s absence, her mother had realized that one day, her younger daughter too, would get married and get busy in her new life and she would be left all alone in this whole world.

Meera was too engrossed in thoughts. How could she really leave her mother? She still remembered the days when she was just a tot and her father was taken away. Since then her world revolves around her mother and sister. She could not even remember her father. But she still remembered how her mother stayed hungry after a long and hard-fought day, feeding them. She still remembered how her mother raised them against all odds. She still remembered how her mother sacrificed her every happiness and belongings to make sure they go to school. Could she be so selfish by just getting married and concentrating on her own life?? She could never do that. She could never leave her mother alone. Even if this meant not getting married, let it be.  Her mother had sacrificed so much, could she not return the favor now?

So she never raised the topic of her marriage. She decided to make her mother feel special for the rest of her life and fulfill all her wishes. All she wanted was to be with her mother and keep her happy.

Over the next few months, Meera was always by her side. She took her mother to visit the places where she always wanted to be but never could. She cooked her favorite dishes, she read her bedtime stories, she was readying the bed – seemingly the roles of the mother and the daughter were completely reversed.

|| 3 ||

Three years have passed since Radhika got married. Meanwhile, Radhika was blessed with a baby boy and she kept visiting them regularly with her new bundle of joy. With her grandson and under Meera’s watchful companionship, it seemed that Jashodaben has recovered from the mental agony and she was almost at her usual self.

One day, Meera was late from her work. She saw her mother sitting in the living room with a pile of newspapers and photographs in front of her.

“Meera, sit here. I want to discuss something very important with you.” She announced.

“What is it, Ma?” Meera was not sure what her mother was up to. She should have guessed though.

“See, I have been working on your marriage for quite some time now. I didn’t tell you because I felt it wasn’t the right time. I have shortlisted a few potential matches for you with the help of a local matchmaker. Here are the photographs. Please select one.” She said authoritatively.

“Ma, I don’t want to get married. Please don’t waste your time and effort.” She began to worry about how her mother would react to it.

“But why?” Her voice was a little louder this time. “You are a woman, you have to get married. Who would look after you once I am gone? You know I am not keeping well. I am worried about you.” She explained.

“Ma, who would look after you once I am married and not around?”

“I will be fine. Don’t worry about me. Just like your sister keeps visiting me, you would do the same. And don’t argue with me anymore. You have to get married, that’s my final decision.” Jashodaben was visibly irate.

“So she has decided everything”, Meera thought. “Ma, I don’t want to get married. I want to be with you. You know how stubborn I could be, so please don’t force me. Leave this topic altogether. I promise I would let you know if once I feel like getting married. Just because I am not your son, I don’t have the right to stay with you.” Without adding anything further, she left for the bedroom to change.

Over the next few days and weeks and months, Jashodaben tried to convince Meera with the so-called ‘benefits’ of marriage, but Meera did not give in. In fact, she was not ready to listen at all. Eventually Jashodaben had to let it go.

“Ok, do whatever you want to. I have no value in this house. No one even bothers to listen to me.” she shouted at Meera. Apparently she was too frustrated and irritated, but deep inside she might have been relieved as well, knowing that her daughter would be with her always.

Life went on, so did the tide on Sabarmati.

Meera and her mother stayed together for twenty long years.

|| 4 ||

One evening, Radhika, in her early fifties now, visited them as per her age-old custom. She would also stay for the night. All three of them were sitting together in the bedroom. Jashodaben was reminiscing about her marriage and all other things which both her daughters might perhaps have heard a hundred times before.

Suddenly, without any context, she mumbled out. “You know, I always wanted a son. But today I can confess that a son could not have done more than what you did. I never even have felt that I do not have a son. You both are too precious to me. I can now leave in peace.” Her vision got blurred by the tiny droplets of tears.

Radhika could not hold back her tears as well. Meera, 49 now, was as calm as she always used to be. Even she was too moved by the words, she knew her mother meant every single of them from the bottom of her heart.

“Ma, you know what. Since our childhood, whenever we saw or met the father of any our friends, we also secretly longed for a father. But we really never needed one, as you were always there. You had been our mother, you had been our father and you had been our everything.” The words came out spontaneously from Meera.

The three ladies wept together. It was an emotional moment for all of them.

That night, Jashodaben, passed away in her sleep. She was 76.

|| 5 ||

It was Meera who found it out in the next morning.

Neither she cried nor did she sob. Her mother looked too peaceful in her sleep, unmistakably she was gone without any pain. Meera just sat beside her mother holding her hand, still like a statue. Emotions were rapidly flowing from one to another and she did not recollect how long she had sat there. She didn’t even notice when her sister came into the room.

The silence was broken by a piercing noise. Radhika had gone in a fit of sobbing. Meera had come back to her senses.

“Didi, please don’t cry. See how peacefully she is sleeping. She was in so much peace while she was gone. We have to respect that.” She tried to soothe her elder sister.

Radhika, somewhat managed to calm herself down momentarily. But she was apparently still shaken.

“N -Now what? I can’t believe she is no more…. I can’t even think what to do now. There is no one around…..Oh God!…Ma..” Her voice choked.

“We have to inform the relatives and friends and arrange for the funeral. But before that, I wanted to tell you something.” Meera’s voice was too steady for such an emotional moment.

“Wh-what??” She was still stuttering.

“I want us to light her pyre and carry her bier.”

“What??? Have you gone completely insane? I can’t believe this. These are not the rites that daughters can carry out. It’s prohibited in our religion and society…and….and…” She was in utter shock and disbelief.

“Didi, we were her sons and daughters and everything. You also heard her yesterday. This would be our final send-off to her. You call everyone and leave this on me”. Meera had already chalked out her next course of action.

“I can not support you, sorry. You would get us in trouble.” She was adamant.

“Didi, if you don’t want to do it, please don’t. I will do it alone. Just call everyone. ” Meera was too firm and Radhika knew very well she could not win an argument with her sister.

|| 6 ||

Jashodaben was sleeping. Her bier was prepared. She was covered with a milky-white piece of silken cloth. Her face was decorated with flowers and ornaments. She still looked too peaceful. She was ready for her final journey.

The two bedroom apartment was crowded by the relatives, neighbors and other acquaintances. The rooms were full of people – Jashodaben was loved by many.

“I need four men. We have to carry the bier to the burning ghat.” The priest announced.

“Not four, three. I would also carry the bier”. Meera came forward.

There was a complete pin-drop silence in the room. Everybody was petrified. Nobody moved.  Surprise and shock were the theme.

“I would also light the fire at her pyre.” She added, as matter-of-factly.

“I am afraid I cannot allow this. This is not permitted in our religion. These are the rites of a son. And as your mother didn’t have a son, some close male relative can do it, like her grandson”. The elderly priest was shaking his head vehemently, so were many from the gathering. Even Radhika was still in a shock at the guts of her only sibling.

“I am not asking for permission. Even if I have to carry her all by myself, I will do so. She loved me more than she could have ever loved a son. I know she would have wanted me to do it. And I am also her child. Just because of a silly outdated ritual, I don’t want to disobey her last wish. If it is a sin, it will be all mine. Those who don’t want to witness and share my sin, you can very well leave. Nobody can stop me.” Meera took one step forward, as if she was ready to bend over to carry the bier.

“Ok, fine. If you would like to carry on, it’s your wish. But I will not commit such a grave sin. And those who would witness this evil episode and help you, would burn in hell.” The priest cursed and left. Many people followed him. After all, who would want to burn in hell?

Some people stayed, either because they were supportive of Meera or may be simply to enjoy the fun.

“Can I have any three of you? It doesn’t matter to me whether you are male or female.” Meera threw the request to the crowd, hoping someone would assist her.

“I will go with you”. Meera was surprised and she was too happy to see her 21 year old nephew had it in him to stand against the tide.

“So will I.” It was Meera’s brother-in-law, Radhika’s husband. He was always very progressive.

“And me too.” The fourth one was one of the neighbors.

So the four of them carried the bier and went outside. Meera was at the front, with Radhika following her. It seemed everybody around the locality had gathered at both sides of the road, through which they were transiting. It was really not an everyday scene where you see a woman carrying her mother’s bier. There were people cursing at Meera for such outrageous act of disgrace. But she chose to ignore them. What else could she do anyway?

After a while, they reached at the entrance of the burning ghat. When they entered the premises of the crematorium, a group of priests surrounded them. They did not seem to be too welcoming. Obviously the news had flown to every nook and corner of the locality

“Go back or find another ghat. We will not allow such grave mistake to be committed here.” A commotion was about to start.

“Please allow us. She just has carried the bier but she is not going light the pyre. It will be the grandson of the deceased. Whatever mistakes have been committed, we would make the necessary atonement”.  To Meera’s absolute astonishment, before she could respond, Radhika pleaded. She reassuringly gestured to her younger sister to stay taciturn.

The group of priests certainly was not expecting this. They stared at each other’s faces. Finally they decided to allow them to pass. All the sins will be atoned, anyway.

“Make sure you feed 100 brahmins and donate something in the nearby temple.” One of them shouted from behind.

Meera was relieved. Radhika smiled at her, faintly.

The sandalwood pyre, drenched in ghee, was meticulously prepared by Meera and her nephew.

Meera took out a fire.  Meera’s hands were shaking. This was the moment for which she fought all the way. This was the moment for which she was ready go to any length. That moment had come but she still couldn’t believe what she was going to do. She was already too drained out.

“Let’s do it together”. Radhika outstretched her right hand to her sister.

The lit the pyre, together.

They saw the pyre burning ferociously. The fire touched the blue azure.

Inside, they were burning too.

Finally, under the setting sun, they floated the remains of Jashodaben on Sabarmati.

Meera was weeping relentlessly, finally.

She knelt down, looking above.

“We did it Ma, we did it.”

|| T H E E N D ||

The Marriage

Rahul had always been a very bright student. He did both his Engineering and MBA from one of the premier institutions in India. He was offered a job as a manager by an USA based multinational, based on Silicon Valley with a huge pay packet.  Hailing from a rural village in Bihar, no one of his family travelled outside Bihar, let alone abroad. He was very happy. Though his parents were a little sad to let him go – he being the only son and the youngest of the three siblings – they were eventually happier for him.

Rahul moved to USA. Everything had been going on smoothly until the day he met Pooja. Pooja had come to the States from India, from one of the offshore suppliers that his company had a strategic tie-up with. She was too beautiful to go unnoticed and Rahul, and some more guys, fell head over heels for her. Fortunately for him, he had to interact with her on a daily basis to take project updates. Initially Pooja was a little introvert but slowly she opened up and one day Rahul came to know that the feeling was reciprocal from both sides.

The next six months or so did fly like a twinkling of an eye as the two lovebirds started spending most of their times together. Rahul slowly started getting to know Pooja and her family background. She was from a very wealthy family from Mumbai. Contrary to his father being a farmer, her father is one of the top-notch businessmen in India. Her family status was diametrically opposite to his. And because of the social surroundings around which they were brought up, Rahul used to be a little conservative whereas Pooja was very liberal and strong-willed. Being the youngest child, he grew up under the overprotective shade of his parents, whereas she enjoyed a lot of freedom as the only child of a rich dad. But as the opposites attract each other, both of them got closer with every passing day.

A few months later when almost every other person at the office knew that they could not stay away from each other, it was time for the big decision. They decided to let their respective families know about their ongoing courtship and the proposition to get married. They were a bit anxious about breaking the news as they were not really sure how their parents would react to the same. Before planning the vacation to India, they agreed on pulling the cat out of the bag to their parents over phone.

Pooja’s parents were a little apprehensive about the social status of their to-be groom’s parents but eventually had to bend down to her stubbornness. On the other hand, Rahul’s parents were scared about their future daughter-in-law because she might not be able to qualify for an ideal housewife. But, finally they also had to succumb to their son’s wish, just like how they were pampering him since the childhood by giving everything he wanted.

So it was all settled. Next Christmas the bride and the groom would be in India and would get married and would leave for USA. All the preparations were done and dusted.

On the wedding day, Rahul’s parents requested him to talk to Pooja’s dad for dowry. It was a bolt from the blue for Rahul.

‘Father, what is this? I cannot do this. I can’t believe you would ask for a dowry!’

‘Why not, son? If we don’t take a dowry, it diminishes your value as a groom – you are so educated and well established in abroad. Moreover, it is a tradition in our village. Without receiving a dowry for a qualified son like you, I cannot show my face to the relatives. And Pooja’s dad surely wouldn’t mind, as he anyway has a lot of money’

‘No, I cannot do this’

‘Son, think about us. You had two elder sisters; a lot of money had been drained out on their marriages and paying for their dowries. Even my land is mortgaged. I really need this money’

‘Father I will give you all the money you need, but I cannot do this’

‘Son, then you have to choose between us and your wife. If you don’t speak to your father-in-law and arrange for the money, we will call off the wedding.’

Rahul was in a real fix. He couldn’t imagine a world without his parents. He had seen their struggle to bring him up. He could not certainly leave them. On the other hand, he could not live without Pooja. What should he do? He planned to have a word with Pooja but knowing her liberal and modern thinking, he knew that she would create a scene and make a mess of everything. He decided to talk to his father-in-law in private. The old man was in a shock when the groom explained what has happened. He enquired whether Pooja was aware of it.

The money Rahul’s parents were asking for was nothing for his father-in-law and he was ready to shell out even more in his only daughter’s marriage, but he could never imagine that he had to officially pay for dowry! Since Pooja was not even aware of the situation, he agreed to pay and just wrote down a check. Everything got sorted out and everybody was happy. A gentleman’s agreement took place between Rahul and his father-in-law that Pooja would be kept in dark about this little off-track incident.

The bride and groom, after a short honeymoon to the Maldives, mostly sponsored by Pooja’s father, went back to California, where they settled for happily ever after.

A couple of years passed by without any major incident and Pooja’s company would now require her to work from India, so she had to come back. Rahul decided to stay for a few more months as he was searching for a job in India. She required to work from Mumbai, so she decided to stay at her father’s.

When they broke the news of her return to her in-laws, they were not happy. Why should their daughter-in-law not stay with them? Moreover, in their family the ‘bahus’ are supposed to be housewives and should not be working. Who would take care of his parents if not her? She tried to make them understand but all her efforts were futile. Surprisingly, Surprisingly Rahul also supported his parents’ unfair demands.

‘Why do you need to work? Quit your job and stay with my parents. That’s your home now’

‘Rahul, give me a solid reason for quitting my job. It was because of this job we two are together. Moreover, I am a qualified woman and I want to work’

‘Pooja, we have had this argument several times before. We have enough money. Why do you need to continue working?’

‘It is not about money, you would not understand. I will not quit. And please don’t sound like your parents with a mentality with 16^th century.’

‘Pooja, enough! Whatever they are, they are my parents.’

‘Don’t shout at me. A fact is a fact – they have typical conservative mentalities and you keep on supporting them. Sometimes I wonder whether you are educated in a real sense.I will not quit and this is my final decision.’

The argument went on and on, and for several times. Pooja, as strong-willed as she was, despite the resistance from in-laws, came back to Mumbai and started working. Rahul, on the other hand, conveyed this message to his parents who were visibly upset. They suggested that their lives were ruined as they did not want such a daughter-in-law who would not stay with them and help them in their daily chores. The delirious mother went further on and finally even indicated that his son should seriously think of leaving her and get married once again.

‘This time the girl will be of our choice and we would get a fatter dowry this time’!

‘Mother, please. I am already under a lot of pressure.’

‘See the girl had taken you completely under her spell. You don’t even think of our plights.’

‘It won’t happen. Please close this topic.’

Rahul eventually got a job in Mumbai and came back. They bought an apartment and shifted there. Her in-laws, on Rahul’s repeated pleading, came to stay with them. The decision was not a clever one. His conservative and extremely traditional parents did not at all like Pooja’s liberal and strong-willed attitude as well as the close proximity of her father’s house to them. A daughter-in-law must stay away from her paternal relations after marriage and she must be obedient to her in-laws. She must stay inside the house and not work. She has to be an ideal daughter-in-law after all! Everyday there was complaints to Rahul about his wife, from his parents. With such continuous provocation, he started developing a little apathy towards Pooja.

One evening, both Rahul and Pooja were about to leave for an invitation. His mother did not like her ‘bahu’s’ western dress, as it was too provocative!! Their argument turned into a heated debate, but no one seemed to be bogged down. Rahul, perplexed, could not decide which side to choose and remained silent. This irked Pooja even more. She started calling him a spineless coward for not supporting her in front of his mother, even if his mother was not right. Rahul’s male ego was badly hurt and he, on the heat of the moment, slapped her. She could not believe that he had hit her! She was infuriated.

‘Rahul, since my childhood my parents did not let me pick up even a minor scratch. I cannot tolerate a jerk like you hitting me for no reason whatsoever. I could have hit you too, but that is not how I am brought up or educated. I was about to tell you today that I am four month’s pregnant. But it does not matter now as I am leaving this house for good. You stay with your parents, and I will stay with mine. With their support I could take care of myself and my baby.’

Before he could react in some way, his father pitched in, rubbing salt to the wound.

‘See the way she is talking to you. Is this how a wife should talk to her husband? Never! That’s why I told you on the day of the marriage to take the money from her father. I knew she would not stay with you, at least we will have the money! We were right, we should have called off the marriage instead and got you married somewhere else.’

Pooja could not believe what she was hearing! Rahul, her Rahul, had agreed to take a dowry, and she did not have a clue! Why did he need money? Was she herself not enough?

She was devastated. She could not even move with the shock. Time seemed to stand still forever. A few moments passed in silence and slowly she recovered from the shock and pulled herself together. Surprisingly, she had been feeling too calm now.

Without uttering a single word, she left.

‘Let her go and she doesn’t need to come back. She does not belong here anyway. This is your house.’ These were the goodbye words of Rahul’s mother.

Pooja went on to stay at her father’s. In the next few months, the delivery date was fast approaching and her father arranged the delivery at the topmost hospital in Mumbai. Meanwhile Rahul tried to talk to her several times, apologized on several occasions and even pleaded to meet her once, but she blatantly refused. It was as if she had shut a door in her heart and no one was allowed to enter apart from her parents.

Pooja gave birth to a little baby girl on time. She was ecstatic. She was also a little sad not having Rahul around to share her bundle of joy. By now she had almost forgiven him for everything. Her father called up Rahul at the hospital, but he didn’t turn up.

Days turned into weeks but there was absolutely no news from Rahul. They even had left their Mumbai apartment. News came that they have left for their rural village in Bihar for some days for Rahul’s marriage! He had given in under ‘extreme persuasion’ from his parents. Apparently his parents completely disowned their daughter-in-law and granddaughter. How could they not? They were expecting a grandson, not a girl. A girl is a liability whereas a son is a prospect. And whose fault could it be? Of course, the ‘bahu’ is responsible! Because of her own sins she could not give birth to a boy!

Pooja was shaken to the core. Her rage crossed all limits. She was determined to see the end of it and teach them a lesson.

She filed a lawsuit for divorce which she won and they got separated.

She eventually reported this incident to Mumbai Police department and lodged an FIR against Rahul and his parents for charges like polygamy, mental and physical harassment and gender discrimination. Rahul and his parents were put behind the bars for a few months on various charges. Upon release, Rahul’s father died with a heart attack. Rahul quit his job and left for Bihar with his mother. Rumor has it that he got married once again, with a girl of his mother’s choice, and received a significant amount of dowry which helped him repay his father’s debt in full.

She continued to work and raise Neha, her daughter, as a single mother. She is content with her life around her littler angel.

Epilogue

All the characters mentioned in the narrative are completely fictitious and are solely the creation of my imagination. If there is any resemblance with anyone living or dead, it is purely coincidental.

The narrative is not written to hurt the feelings of anyone or any community. The social issues like gender based discrimination; dowry system and domestic violence (mental and physical harassment towards wife/daughter-in-law) are still prevalent in our society.

People like Rahul’s parents still exist, who are full of social prejudices and biases. They not only are at fault, but also they do drag the whole society backwards.

Rahul, despite being educated and well-settled, could not even stand up for the right cause and was easily influenced into the wrongdoings. People like him eventually are equally responsible to act as a direct catalyst to the increasing number of offenses towards women.

Pooja sought the help of the law which took its course, but not all women are so brave or have the opportunity. Given the social taboos and stereotypical mindsets, most of them succumb to the torture and eventually end up paying more money as dowry and some who could not bear the pain tragically end their lives.

Accepting or asking for a dowry is a crime. Accept the woman as who she really is, a human being, and no one has any right to insult her dignity by equaling her with any sort of materialistic possessions.

Domestic violence (mental and/or physical harassment) against wife/daughter-in-law is a punishable offense. For a woman, it takes time to adjust to a new home and get accustomed to new values, traditions and cultures. Accept her with all her mistakes, since no one is perfect, not even you and me.

Gender discrimination and inequality against women are moral stigmas, if not legal offenses. They humiliate one as human being and are direct violations of the human rights. Male chauvinism and ego are nothing but the demons of one’s own prejudiced mind and cluttered thinking.

We as responsible human beings have to seriously ponder over how to eradicate these perilous viruses from their roots. We have to annihilate these prejudices within us.

Let us take an oath today to put an end to these evils from spreading their dark, clawed wings further.